Sunday, April 07, 2013


To stay open in my hurt, to stay open in my fear, 
to stay open in my longing,
to stay open in my exhaustion, 
to stay open in my joy,
to stay open in my calmness,
to stay open in my confusions,
to stay open in my groundlessness,
to stay open in my happiness,
to stay open in my willpower,
to stay open living
to stay open while giving,
to stay open while receiving  
to stay open to all.
An inner 'approach' living life which gives me the opportunity to live life as fully as possible in my everyday.
Because it is not the huge happenings in life which make you smile the most,
it is the little surprises which touch me deep inside.
AND LIFE is TRAINING ME for a WHILE to stay open, 
not closing doors due to feeling better or because one need is somehow fullfilled,
NOT CLOSING DOORS forever, just accepting how it is,
learn what needs to be learned and let go in peace.
Accetping what life is giving me in my moments.
Grateful accepting and valuing.
And no this does not mean that I will lose this deep connection of my soul with some I already expierenced.
I do not know if you ever can lose this connection, once life arranged those meetings.
They will be always in my heart and soul and yes this 'not-living-those-deep-inspiring-connections' hurt sometimes and still it is okay because what I gained out of those moments is bigger than any missing.
It is pure gratefulness.
And I am connected with other individuals on so many levels, 
it just makes me smile, 
with some deeper, 
with some less deeper,
with some DEEP DEEP down and 
I know now, it is an inside need, 
which needs fullfillment in whatever way possible,
otherways my soul is dying and I am not letting this happen ever!
And still I got rescued!
In the midst of not knowing anymore how I should continue life,
life gave me a 'guide'.
Guiding me out of hide,
into the light again.
And I know my typing this, is huge, for that someone reading,
and still, it was not your decision either,
it was LIFE who is the leader in all this.
THANK YOU dear inspiration guide :)
And I am OPEN - living life,
who knows,
 what will fill my lifetime from now on.
Nobody, except life itself.
And I am just grateful to all it is teaching me.  

Good morning, an insight hit, getting up this morning, all the time wondering about those signs, showing up, reminding me, especially when I was 'doubting', especially when I was not sure how I should 'think' about matters, life SHOWED me everytime a SIGN to stay open, STAY OPEN NO MATTER WHAT, not making a decision, not choosing, not judging or condemnig to feel somehow safe, just let the outcomes open, just stay floating in groundlessness not giving it names, just letting the energy of 'happenings' flow around me and leaving into the unknown again and me? I just keep walking, accepting, learning how to deal with inner resistance that is still there, do not get me wrong, it is probably always there, you just catch it faster and can 'aware-choose' what you need to live openess or 'resistance' and since I know that resistance is not doing me ANY good I choose aware to live acceptance even it it everytime a challenge. And a major part in all this, plays this ability I grew, to love myself, to care for myself in kindness and compassion, finding my own inside anchor. So dear life, THANK YOU.

And letting go of: 'DAY 5 - Emptying 'drawers' feels good. Inside-drawers.' Moved into the other glass. YEP. Emptying out of roles, 'caging-norms', 'caging-thinking-ways', 'condmening-beliefs' feels good. EY!

I wish you a wonderful sunday!!!!!

Smiles, Anke :)   

PS after lunch: So, how was your morning? MINE? EXPANDING into beautiful nature under amazing BLUE SKY!!!! YEP!!!! :))))) FELT AWESOME. Creating desire lines.....and after a delicious cooked lunch from my husband....and now? LAUNDRY and reading some more in this book....finding out more about my 'needs'. Veit Lindau  
And looking out the window and seeing those clouds move in, makes me smile that I took the earlier choice to go walking. 
See you around...I wish you a wonderful afternoon. EXPAND into your POTENTIAL! YOU CAN DO IT :)))) Smirk :))))

PPS: And while walking, the topic ADVENTURE was floating in my brain...maybe release later, maybe it needs longer time. What is adventure for you? For me? Let me find this one time I created some post about it.    

PS: I am on discovery to find, and found something else as well:

'Macht der Liebe

Ehre ohne Liebe macht hochmütig.
Macht ohne Liebe macht grausam.
Pflicht ohne Liebe macht verdrießlich.
Besitz ohne Liebe macht geizig.
Glaube ohne Liebe macht fanatisch.
Klugheit ohne Liebe macht betrügerisch.
Wahrheit ohne Liebe macht kritiksüchtig.
Ordnung ohne Liebe macht kleinlich.
Gerechtigkeit ohne Liebe macht hart.
Sachkenntnis ohne Liebe macht rechthaberisch.
Freundlichkeit ohne Liebe macht heuchlerisch.
Verantwortung ohne Liebe macht rücksichtslos.'


'Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.'
- Mary Oliver

"Religion is nothing but a love affair with existence. It is not ritual. It has nothing to do with churches and temples and mosques." Osho
'You should never do anything because of duty. Either you do something because of love or you do not do it. Make it a point that your life has to be a life of love, and if out of love , you respond, that I call responsibility. Break the word into two --- response-ability ---- don't make it one. Joining thes two words has created so much confusion in the world. It is not responsibility; it is response-ability. And love is able to respond. There is no other force in the world that is able to respond. If you love, you are bound to respond; there is no burden. Duty is a burden.'

- Osho; Fame, Fortune and Ambition

'Meine Seele möchte wegfliegen, wenn deine Anwesenheit sie so süß ruft.
Meine Seele möchte sich erheben, wenn du flüsterst,
Steh auf.'

'Freundschaft staerkt, heilt und erquicket das Herz.'

- Johann Gottfried Herder

'Was ist das Herz?
Eine sich öffnende Blume!'
'The truth of Zen, just a little bit of it, is what turns one's hum drum life, a life of monotonous, uninspiring commonplaceness, into one of art, full of genuine inner creativity.'
D.T. Suzuki (1870 - 1966)
"The only authentic responsibility is towards your own potential, your own intelligence and awareness--and to act accordingly." Osho

"Reagiere auf jeden Ruf, der deinen Geist anregt.“ - Rumi
'Lebenskunst... ist weder ein sorgloses Dahintreiben noch ein angstvolles Festklammern an der Vergangenheit... Sie besteht darin, in jedem Augenblick ganz einfühlsam zu sein, ihn als völlig neu und einzigartig anzusehen und das Bewusstsein offen und ganz und gar empfänglich zu halten.'

Alan Watts
„Auch wenn ich versuchen sollte, die Liebe zu beschreiben,
wenn ich sie erfahre, bin ich sprachlos.“ - Rumi
17th April 2012:
What does adventure mean to you?
What activities do you consider an 'adventure'?
Do  you have 'adventure' regularly in your life?
Is adventure more like the big huge events or is it more like little things or a combination from both?
Do you seek adventure?
Do you enjoy adventurous people around you?
Do you enjoy the 'energy' from being on adventure?
Are you open for adventures?
Do you see adventures as a kind of surprise?
Does adventure make you fully alive with all your senses?
Are you scared of adventures?
Are you limiting yourself to go on adventures?
Are you allowing yourself to expierence adventures?

So, how do you define adventure for yourself?

For me? 
Well, it can be big things, it can be little things, it can be everything. 
I am on adventure to raise three kids.
I am on adventure to be open to every moment in my life and enjoy the beauty in it, even it's sometimes hard to find.
I am on adventure to discover beauty and appreciate it - honestly-sincerely-
I am on adventure to live out loud my creativity
I am on adventure to live a fullfilled life
 I am on adventure to follow my heart
I am on challenge-adventure
I am on meditation adventure
 I am on pilgriming adventure
 I am on sharing joy adventure
 I am on adventure to create something beautiful out of obstacles in the way
 I am on adventure to reveal beauty and encourage it to come out
 I am on adventure to learn
I am on adventure that everything changes in life every second
 I am on adventure to always find back to my center
 I am on adventure of caring for my friendships
 I am on adventure to discover whatever is there to discover
I am adventure of living my life being me

So, how about you? 
Are you on adventure? '
-> Interessantes Interview ueber den Unterschied zwischen Selbstliebe und Narzissmus

'The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved
You can be difficult and still be cared for
You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.'
 - Daniell Koepke

'Compassion is not a relationship
between the healer and the
. It's a relationship
between equals.
Only when we
know our own darkness well can
we be present with the darkness
of others.
Compassion becomes
real when we recognize our
shared humanity.'

  -Pema Chödrön 
'Cleansing Prayer:
I cleanse myself of all the selfishness, resentment, critical feelings for my fellow beings, self-condemnation, and misinterpretation of my life experiences.
I bathe myself in generosity, appreciation, praise and gratitude for my fellow beings, self acceptance, and enlightened understanding of my life experiences.'

- Linda Frederico
-> I feel like setting foot into an airplane and fly somewhere, yes...for a while...I need to get into 'adventuring' more again...some way.
PS: Baking cookies and you? 
I am reading again. How important is SELF-ESTEEM to YOU or how SELF-RESPECT?  

And another wondering question: Are you a friend to yourself? 

Me?  Yes, I learned what I need to do to live my 'self-esteem' fully and yes I learned to be a friend to myself. It feels good. VERY GOOD.

PS: VALUES. Very important, YES. I found a lot on my way the last three years, I questioned some, I questioned my ways, I found out which ones are important to me. And some you arlready read here. Showing someone it is okay, when I caused confusion by my 'wildness', by my appreciation, by my 'going-new-ways' and things got misunderstood. It is okay. I take full responsibility and still I am more than willing to 'go-against-norms' to give other souls peace again. COMPASSION. 

Whatelse I can just name like that?

being authentic
Trust (some might think, well how I can trust her, when she is 'sharing' here? That is up to you, either you know you can trust me or not, either you really 'got' my deep inside 'trust-worthiness' or not, it is up to you, I know with some I was walking a fine line, and still it was the only way to share, it is the only way to share for some soul matters out of gratefulness, sharing my development, seeing what a little spark caused, yes out of gratefulness I shared this wonder of growing into being me- And yes I made already very bad experiences, sharing in trust with others and they misused it, and still I am willing to trust myself and others, becaus I also made good expierences.)
free to be me
DEEPNESS ( gratefulness, intimacy, joy, meaning)
Giving chances  
 And a lot more, but those came up fastest....;)

And a wondering in between reading: Did I cause a very deep inside confusion by naming or saying out loud, clearly with honesty what I was picturing ? For example with offering a friendship and naming it clearly what and what not? Interesting.....and a question for the wind, did you find values for yourself or questioned yours and found your own definitions? And I really meant all those things I said or shared. I sure wish, that those I confused good with my clear 'values' found their own and live those with their heart and soul. GO FOR IT! NO MATTER WHAT! It is your life!

'Letting go gives us freedom
and.freedom is the only condition for happiness. 
 If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.'

  -Thich Nhat Hanh
 'Setting boundaries is about creating healthy emotional limits
I'm not the owner of other's feelings, worries or reactions. 
It's not my job to fix them or to make life better or easier for anyone else. 
I want to love AND be healthy SO I will let others fix themselves.'

-Know My Worth

I FINALLY GOT IT, YEP! was about time, wasn't it? 

'Streife ab deinen Stolz.
Trage die Kleidung der Demut.'
Getting back into routine.
Feels somehow nice.

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