Being touchable hardcore

Hello from Friday evening :)

I am back from an surgery on wednesday which made the weeks before very challenging. My whole body went into preparing and the worst unknown was, if I am able to attend this surgery, because the main part to attent was being healthy!

I made it somehow! LOL

I used a bunch of techniques to keep my autonomic nervous system down and keep my strength, my body geared up with Virus-antibodies, my mental state trained wavy and I made all kind of worries through before, so that on the day before I was calm! Very deeply calm! And it stayed till the time was there to get my anesthesia. 

Surgery went well, the first day after also, but the second day was my fullblown reaction to meds cocktail which my body did not handle well. 

I faced my circulartory in the very low fields that I needed some meds to get it stable again, not pleasant. 

Being touchable means you can tell something is not fitting and fighting for different ways that support your health and not pushes it down even more. 

I faced the toughness of being touchable yesterday and listening to my impulses.

Being touchable is listening to your impulses even you are scared. 

I did and interestingly in such moments life gives me those gifts of encounters which supports my way. 

I am a  very aware patient, I know my body very well, I live with it everyday, I need doctors who are willing to listen to me and find a way together, so it fits. 

It does not need to fit 100%, more than 50% is though a very necessary thing to heal. 

I am regretting to do this surgery? NO, all went well, the way my body responds to medication is my part in it all and I need to name it, so changes can be made, by asking, by wanting to know and finding alternative ways make my healing a success. 

My intuition has one sentences for me right now: Your are in caring hands. 

That is all I need to know and walk the way of healing now. 

Grateful for all in it and the support I get from all kind of sides, family, friends, doctors, and all those people who think on me or send me well wishes before or after. 

Thank you :)